Survivalist Or Grocery Store Induced ADD?

My kids refuse to grocery shop with me.  My husband shakes his head and says he just doesn’t understand why it takes that long, and why can’t I stick to the list. It’s true, I probably know our local market better than the employees, and it shouldn’t take me two hours to get food to last my crew for a week’s worth of meals, right?

I go in with the best of intentions, I prepare a menu for the week, make the list, sometimes even highlighting for instance, items I need from produce, you see I go through the produce dept first, and inevitably I have to go back, usually several times.  I try so hard to stay on task. I think it’s best described by letting you listen in on my thoughts as I shop….

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It could be something as simple as canned green beans on sale.  I can stand in the aisle and compare all the brands to make sure that the price per oz is really a good bargain.  Then depending on how good the bargain is, I have to decide how many cans should I get.  This is where I really get off track. The devil is in the details, you never EVER want to be short a can of green beans!!! I start imagining all the different things I can make with these great bargain green beans besides just green bean casserole.  Soups, stews, shepherd’s pie. Damn, now I have to run back over to produce and get a Vidalia onion, and stop at the meat department on my way for bacon to put in the green bean casserole, and hamburger for the shepherd’s pie.  Better plan to have enough for a big casserole, or I could make two smaller ones. Choices are a good thing.  Green bean casserole was never even on the menu, but all these ingredients will keep, I tell myself, so in 3 months when I need to bring a side dish to an event….now who doesn’t have to run out to the grocery store because they thought ahead? Give that girl a medal!

Crap, I need some cream of mushroom soup for that recipe, I think I have only one can at home, and that won’t be enough if I am making a big pan of green bean casserole.

Score! All the store brand cream of everything is also on sale.  You know, I haven’t made my famous chicken tortilla soup in a long time, and I know I have the tortilla chips, black beans, chicken bouillon, and those rotisserie chickens I got when they were marking them down? I picked them and froze the meat in ziploc bags from my last trip, so all I need is a couple of cans of cream of chicken soup that just so happen to be on sale.  Patting myself on the back as I continue to the next aisle for being a good cook AND a smart shopper. WAIT! I cannot make my famous chicken tortilla soup without fresh cilantro, damn it to hell!  Let me run back to the produce dept again to to get it. I of course know right where it is.  I leave my cart, because it’s quicker that way.

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On my way back, I see cake mixes on sale on an endcap, why that’s a helluva sale!  Christmas is only 5 months away, and I seen this intriguing recipe where you use cake mix for the cookie batter.  I already bought the chocolate chips on clearance and froze them (reaches around and pats back again).  What a nice treat for the kids, I clutch 4 boxes of cake mix to my chest and wonder if 5 boxes will make me look too dramatic.  Eggs were already on my list, I will just buy eighteen instead of twelve. Hmmmm, better get some milk for all these cookies.

Did you know that chocolate milk is actually a great sports recovery drink? Since my son has a soccer game and baseball game this weekend, maybe I will pick up two small bottles of chocolate milk in addition to a gallon of white milk.  Well, if I do that, my daughter will snag one of the chocolates, and then it’s a fight. Maybe I will just buy a half gallon.  Shoot, my husband will drink some too if it’s in the fridge, put that half gallon back and get a gallon of chocolate milk in addition to the white milk. Or should I just get chocolate sauce? I’m frozen in indecision. Finally I put a gallon of white, a gallon of chocolate, and with a lot of guilt, a bottle of Hershey’s syrup.

I’m not a big milk drinker, but chocolate milk mixed into coffee is pretty tasty. I imagine myself nibbling on a cookie and sipping my coffee and milk.  Gosh dang it, we are going to need more K cups if I get a gallon of chocolate milk, I have a houseful of coffee drinkers.  Oh look, there is a new flavor of coffee creamer….

ON and ON and ON it goes.  These are my mental conversations I have with myself in the grocery store, and I drive myself crazy! I never leave without the cart being completely overfilled. Two carts, have happened people, and it definitely screams, “Prepper!!”

About six years ago our area was devastated by multiple tornado’s.  We had one swoop right over our house! The infrastructure for not only our town, but surrounding towns was severely affected.  Gas stations, restaurants, and stores were closed, in all local areas.  If you could afford the gas money, people were driving almost 50 miles for food and gas.  It was shocking to see how quickly people freaked out and how they reacted when even (gasp) McDonald’s wasn’t open. I was admittedly bad before, but that only confirmed that my habits could be of great value. In fact, we not only ate well, but so did family that we took in who didn’t have electricity for several days. During winter, I thrill at the mention of a big snow storm, and laugh at those people fighting for milk and eggs. Foolish people!

My husband finds me entertaining, he says he can judge how full the pantry and freezer are by my mood.  If they are less than 50% stocked, I am irritable and cranky.  Just wait until the next weather disaster, or the zombpoc,  I bet then he won’t be as amused as he is grateful!

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I recently discovered Walmart online sells “Emergency Food” in big buckets, & MRE’s. I’m very intrigued. I’ve read the reviews and it sounds like you can make a lot of different dishes with dehydrated eggs….

 

 

 

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